Saying “NO” to someone can be the most challenging task for some people. Inability to say “NO” is often the biggest cause of “FAILURE” as well in so many people’s lives.
I had been a people pleaser for long but now I have realized that when you try to please everybody, the only person you don’t please is “YOURSELF”.
Have you ever noticed that when you are in the plane; before the plane takes off, even the aircrew give the instructions that in the case of low oxygen in the plane, first put the oxygen mask on your mouth before you try to help anybody else with the oxygen mask??
I think it is more of common sense that we must fill our own cup first before we try to fill other people’s cups! It is important not from a selfish point of view but to make sure that if we want to contribute to other people, we are happy and content first with what we have.
SAVE YOURSELF FROM DEVIATING OFF THE PLAN/SCHEDULE/GOAL
People will often try to drag you off the track not always because they hate you or they are jealous of you but because they are unaware of your plan or goals. It is you who has to decide and make a firm decision to stick to your plan.
For instance; If you have scheduled to study or go to GYM for 3 hours on a Saturday evening and your friend asks you to go for a night out on the same evening, saying “NO” would be tough but I guarantee you that it will be such a great feeling to finish 3 hours of dedicated study or gym. It is all about the COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF!.
It could be anything! It doesn’t matter. What matters is you stick to your plan!!!! What matters is your commitment to yourself!!!
All I am trying to say you is that whenever you make a decision at the moment, it is often a poor decision. It may make you feel good and happy at the moment if you decide to go out with your friend but I am very sure that most of the people will have low confidence, stress and often guilt later because they failed to stick to their plan and couldn’t finish study or exercise.
And let me make this clear; if you think your friend will get upset with you if you say “NO”; I think you better review list of your friends. The reality is that if your friends understand you and they are aware of why you are doing what you are doing, they wouldn’t get upset on you and would rather encourage you in everything you are doing in your life. If they do get upset, I would say that it’s the time to move on or maybe have a very open and honest conversation with your friends. Tell them what are you up to. Don’t leave them in the dark!!
Alright! Let’s think this way; When you say “YES” to something, find out what you are saying “NO” to. Analyse your decision.
Ask yourself “What is it that I am giving up when I am saying “YES” to something or someone”?? The truth is that when you say “YES” to something, you have to give up something. We all have 24 hours. What you get in those 24 hours is the key to your success and happiness.
There is no better feeling than accomplishing or achieving what you planned. It could be going for 30 minute walk for continuous 7 days. If you do it without any break or mistake, just imagine “HOW AMAZING AND CONFIDENT YOU WOULD FEEL”???
“YES” Isn’t it??
Asking these questions will make your decision-making really easy! No dilemma.
ACTION PLAN
I encourage you to be bold and say “NO” when you have to! It could be tough or uncomfortable but it will be so rewarding. Plan your days in advance! This will give you so much clarity in your day! Don’t let anybody and anything ruin your plan. I do understand that sometimes for some inevitable reasons, things don’t go according to the plan but that’s an exception.
“HALF OF THE TROUBLES OF THIS LIFE CAN BE TRACED TO SAYING YES TOO QUICKLY AND NOT SAYING NO SOON ENOUGH” JOSH BILLINGS